HE CALLS ME (PART 1)
Can't believe SSEAYP 2010 is over. Three weeks full of discipline training with less sleep, 2 months of cruise around Japan and Southeast Asia really was an amazing experience. Being able to meet new people, having courtesy call to the state leaders of different countries and many other good things really taught me a lot.
it was a really nice trip that really broaden my view about Asia and of course it taught what it means to be an ambassador representing my country. The more I go the more I love being an Asian.
I'm proud to be Indonesian in that during and after the program. I learned how to respect our flag and national symbol "The Garuda" (Hawk) symbolizing power and greatness. SSEAYP really taught me a lot and of course brought me to see the real Asia, from Kupang to Ciputat, Cibubur (jakarta), Narita, Tokyo, Gifu, Yokohama (Japan) , Klang, Kuala Lumpur , Selangor, Putra Jaya (Malaysia) , Bangkok-Thailand, Singapore, Ho Chi Minh city in Vietnam, and here I am now back in my home town, The Rocky City of Kupang - West Timor.
Bellow is a glimpse of my testimony, how God has been so good to me. Hope you will be blessed.
It all started years ago when me and my twin brother were around one year old where my twin brother-Joe suffered from hepatitis and was dying in the hospital. The disease spread so quickly that within couple of weeks thousands of babies were contagious. Slowly but sure those babies died one by one. That was a year of great loss in my city, a year of mourning. There's a very little chance for Joe to recover. I was in the same age as Joe but I wasn't suffered from the disease. They said I couldn't sleep at night before I see Joe at the hospital, so my mom's sister and her husband would take me to the hospital every night to see Joe otherwise I would cry the whole night. I love the fact that God put this bond of brotherhood in us since our early age. My twin brother is my greatest legacy after mom is gone. Back to my story, everyone was in great despair and ready to face the reality that Joe would die soon. But in that moment of despair God sent His servant to the hospital where Joe was being taken care of. He came and prayed for Joe and then He said to my mom (my aunt_she's the one who took care of me and all my brothers and sisters since we were baby ) this boy will not die! God has ordained him to be a servant of God when he grows up. And yes it happened as what the guy said. Out of a thousand babies suffered, only three of them survived, one is my twin brother. What a miracle!!! Praise the Lord!
As I grew up I started to ask God about my destiny. One day I came to a point where I said to God, "we are twin so if you called my brother to serve You I believe You call me too." So I asked Him to tell what am I supposed to be. Later I found myself involved in religious activities and youth communities. I still had no idea though about what I was called to do, all I knew is that He called me. One day in 2007 we had a team coming from YWaM Perth and I had a chance doing ministry with them. That's when I met Ps.Irene who is called ibu by the YWaM team. I remember we were praying together one day and in her prayer she said, Jack I can see you like David. I didn't know what would that mean back then. Then I started to lead christian youth community where I felt I found my destiny, a leader. So I kept praying for that and God kept revealing things to me and gave me confirmations.
I got myself involved in the biggest christian youth movement in town where I became more passionate to God and His calling and one day in 2009 we had one more team coming from YWaM Perth. We had a night of fellowship with them before they went back to Australia. One of them came and prayed for me. Unlike the other team members, she didn't ask me what to pray for, instead she said I'll ask God what should I pray for you. She started to close her eyes and pray for a few moment. Then she told me one thing that I didn't really understand back then (or I forgot). She told me this : Jack, I don't understand but I feel like God is preparing you like David. There's gonna be goliaths coming your way but with the power of God you'll defeat them, God is preparing you to be a leader, I was blown away by what she said. We were quiet for a moment and then I realized that it was the same thing that Ps.Irene said. So I told her about that and she was like "Really??? Owh cool, I wasn't even sure whether to tell you or not. ??!!!/:#*#!?/(+@#???
Well, life wasn't easy the days after. My world was changed since then. It felt like I was a big bottle placed on top of a stand and all of a sudden somebody threw a big stone on me. I was broken. I went through hard times in life, broken relationship, disapoinment, hurts, unreliability, and many other ungood things. The first person I thought I should find is Annelise (the one who prayed for me). Its because of her prayer that my life is messed up, I thought. If she didn't pray it all won't be happening. I felt sorry to let her pray for me back then, not knowing that its a part of God's master plan about me. So I told her to pray for me for strength. I kept her posted about myself but later I felt like I was too dependant on her coz I thought she prayed and it all happened so she better pray that I'll get through this. (Hehe, Sorry Annelise :) ) I asked her to keep praying for me. There's something she said which really encouraging back then, didn't know where she quoted it from, hehe, but here's what she said
"One day you will look back on this day and say, yes those experiences just made me stronger".
I felt better for sometime. But as fast as the lightening strikes the earth, the enemy attacked me again. I didn't want to give up but it seemed like the more I strugled the more they attacked me. What funny was instead of compalining to people, I complained to God and to the enemy.
"GIMME A BREAK!!!" I said to the enemy (ridiculous)
Then I said to God : " I won't be able to face it all so give me freedom!!!", But tenderly He said to me : "MY SON, DON'T ASK FOR FREEDOM WHEN WHAT YOU NEED IS ENDURANCE!"
I didn't stop there, I kept arguing with God. "But its not easy. I'm messed up, I'm broken, do You even care???
But again wisely He said to me things that I'll never forget my whole life, "Things that I allow to happen to you, pains, hurts, sadness, disapoinments, they're not meant to break you, its to show how vulnerable you are and in need of Me." Jack, I cannot use a vulnerable person to lead my people! You've got to be strong, I know you can. Its just a process, its just for now!
Now, answer my question, did I keep David in the field taking care of the animals forever? NO! I said. Did I keep Mosses alone in the wilderness the whole life? NO! Did their life end as shepherds? NO! How did their life end?
A LEADER, I said. You got it!!!
Now you understand, don't you? Asked God. David had to fight with the beasts in the field to protect his sheeps, so did Mosses had to leave the palace and experienced the hardship of life in the wilderness so that he might be able to lead My people out of it, said God.
"YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR WEAKNESS BEFORE YOU KNOW YOUR STRENGTH"
So, that night of fellowship had been a night of prophecy to me. Everything was said is now coming true. I am now leading a local youth community called TRINITY which stands for 'Transformed life community' with the goal to equip young leaders and missionaries to spread the gospel.
Not only that, God keeps teaching me everyday about being a leader through my family, friends, church, communities and etc. He even brought me to the Asia missions conference last year in Hongkong where I met many church leaders and missionaries in Asia, we shared and I learned a lot from them. And since october to december last year I was selected as one of Indonesian youth ambassadors of goodwill and joined a leadership training called SSEAYP (the Ship for Japan and Southeast Asian Youth Program) together with another 26 participating youth from Indonesia. What an honor. The enemy didn't stop the attack, though. My mom passed away when I was still in the re-entry program in Jakarta. He made me to feel sorry that I joined that leadership training, coz I lost the last three months with my mom, I didn't even get to say goodbye. I was totally broken back then. It was a blue christmas for me. I kept blaming myself. But life must go on. I believe as what Annelise said, this experience just makes me stronger.
So, I am now back to my school. Got so many thing to do. I still have around 8 months before graduation "amen!!!" I'm strugling though with my thesis. I'm planning on writing about bible translation. I really need your support and prayer in this area. Sometimes the teacher won't really care about it and therefore some of my friends are still being student and haven't graduate yet. I need and I must graduate this year coz that's my promise to my mom and besides I do believe God has so many thing in store for me, there are places to go to, there are people to reach out, and there's a good news to be shared. I know God uses my study as one of the process for me but I don't it to get in the way between me and my calling. I'm also back to my service as the leader in Trinity. Its been a while since I went to Japan.
I would like to thank everyone who has been my prayer warriors. Thanks for the love and support through out this time. Can't say how blessed I am to have you all in my life.
See you in my next post.
BTW, my twin brother Joe is now serving the Lord as a musician. :)
It fulfilled what is said by the person God sent years ago. We never knew who he was. Could he be an angel of God?
God bless you.
Love from West-Timor, Indonesia
~Jack Loloin~
